wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
