I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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