did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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