Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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