Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
