and next time when you feel me up, do it right
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
