Kareoke will never be a sober sport
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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