okay pat passed out under dana's car
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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