Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
