I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I FOUND THE LEGS
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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