he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
