i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
