forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
