I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
