I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
