What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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