He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
