Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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