I like to think it a success when the cops are called
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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