During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Do vagina's smell?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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