I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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