Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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