i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
should my penis look like a turkey
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm sobbing to NWA
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
