hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
