he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize