you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
