I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
