Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize