I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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