He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
