haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
