the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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