Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
