Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize
