Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
