If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
