do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
