i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
