They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize