I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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