Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize