I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize