ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think my fart just growled at me.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
