If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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