I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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