I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
