At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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