at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
