my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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