C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
In other news, I just burned my penis
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
