did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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