yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize