is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
