She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
too bad you live with your parents still
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
