Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
