So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
