How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
