No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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