My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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