i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
