Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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