After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
