they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
